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There’s a famous quote that reads, “If you’re not open to constructive criticism, then you’re not open to truly growing as a person.” Those are words I’ve lived by not just in my professional life, but in everything. It doesn’t matter how many years of experience we have, how virtuosic our knowledge of a subject matter is, or how resolute we are about our feelings and opinions. There’s always room for improvement. Personal and professional growth cannot happen if we don’t learn to give and receive feedback.
According to a Harvard Business Review article, studies show that “more than 69% of us try to sidestep communicating negative information, and 37% won’t give critical feedback at all.”
Receiving critical feedback was a central part of my college experience. I attended the Eastman School of Music in Rochester, New York, as a music performance major playing the French horn. There was a certain amount of privacy and emotional safety in receiving critical feedback in one-on-one lessons from someone you trusted to have your best interests in mind. However, master classes, orchestra rehearsals, chamber music coaching sessions and competitions were forums in which young musicians often received criticism in the presence of classmates, faculty, staff and the general public. Sometimes, the feedback was delivered in a constructive way. But when frustration flared in rehearsals, emotions and passions could sometimes transform the feedback from supportive and growth-focused to negative, biting jabs.
At my integrated communications agency, the need for honest and constructive feedback is just as strong and important as it was in orchestra rehearsal at the music conservatory. Each of the elements in an integrated campaign — public relations, content marketing and advertising, for example — need to work in concert with one another so that the campaign can be executed with optimal results. Everyone on the team has to be able to give and receive feedback effectively to make that happen.
There’s a scientific reason why even the idea of receiving feedback feels painful: Our brains interpret the exposure of our vulnerabilities as a threat and begin a fight or flight response. So how do we offer feedback in a way that doesn’t feel like a threat to people’s intellect, aptitude and abilities? Here are six tips to make the process more successful.
1. Have In-Person Conversations
Feedback via phone, text message or email is prone to confusion and misinterpretation. Avoid this frustration by meeting in person when possible so both parties can read body language and tone and clarify meaning through active dialogue. The exchange can lead to other discoveries and further improvement.
2. Make Feedback A Habit
If feedback is only given once a year during reviews, then the process can become nerve-racking. Moreover, when feedback is only given when something goes wrong, anxiety about the conversation can cloud the potential positive impact. Feedback is powerful when it’s part of your process and culture so your colleagues know when and how to expect it.
3. Balance Praise And Criticism
Balance feedback with a combination of appreciation and suggested improvements. Get in the habit of offering genuine positive and critical feedback, and avoid the feedback sandwich technique that often seems fake and rehearsed.
4. Be Specific
Vague feedback isn’t helpful. General comments such as, “You’re doing a good job,” or “You might want to improve your communication skills,” aren’t useful either. Instead, try to focus the feedback exchange on particular situations that highlight specific observed behaviors.
5. Use Conversational And Observational Language
Words matter when giving critical feedback. Conversational and observational language is more effective than accusatory, and tone tends to be even more important than your chosen words. Work on both so the exchange is healthy and positive. So instead of making judgments about a person’s intent, focus on the impact that behavior has on others. For example, avoid statements like, “You don’t value the opinions of others,” and try something like, “I’ve noticed you tend to talk a lot in meetings, and I have some ideas about what we can do to ensure others contribute to the discussion.”
6. Establish Trust
In my experience, exchanging feedback is most effective when there’s trust. When colleagues have built a rapport and trust one another, each person will be more likely to assume that the other has the best intentions in mind.
Giving well-intentioned feedback with the desire to grow your team’s skills takes practice and time to develop. Don’t be afraid to role play with a colleague to become more comfortable with your language and delivery style. The more you do it, the more effective you’ll be at having sensitive conversations that will yield positive outcomes. It’s a worthwhile investment that will be applicable in many situations, both personal and professional, and has the potential to completely transform your business.
