Blair Brady is CEO & Co-Founder of the award-winning WITH/agency, a creative and advertising agency driven by brand strategy.
getty
In my mid-20s, usually the youngest person in the room, I felt like I could run the meeting on my own instead of being the note-taker. In my mind, I was hitting my stride and running toward the horizon as hard as I could — watch out world, here I come.
Today, when I look back at that young woman sitting in her cube, clawing to be validated, I smile and wish I could’ve quelled her anxiety without extinguishing her fire. Here are five things I would tell her:
1. Be where your feet are.
There’s a reason you are in this role. Even if you think it’s too easy and you deserve more responsibility (now, please), don’t rush it. You’re supposed to be learning something and it’s your job to find out what. If you don’t, you’re wasting the waiting. Every agenda you make copies of, read it. Every meeting you’re left out of, find out what the next steps are and how you can help. Be a sponge.
Early on, I worked on a big corporate account that made plans 12-18 months in advance. And to me, that was slow. But I was overlooking the opportunity to watch how those corporate frameworks work and began to realize that what they valued was different than what I had thought.
MORE FOR YOU
I realized I was dying to make an impact on a business that I didn’t fully understand yet. And that’s okay — because it was my job to learn, not lead. Despite my selfish longing to “shake things up,” I settled in and started learning.
2. Comparison is the thief of success.
I know you see a peer working on a more exciting client, getting more praise and that comparing yourself to others is a way to seek measurement and feedback if you aren’t being given your own. Instead, make your own goals and hold yourself accountable. Don’t place your value in someone else’s performance by using them as a benchmark. That’s too limiting. Liberate yourself by seeking goals based on where you want to go.
I used to compare myself to a woman who had the role I wanted. Eventually, she left that role and I remember thinking, “This is my shot.” So, I stated my case to my manager. And because all of my points were made in comparison to the woman who left that role, not how I would approach the role, it gave him an easy out. He could point to everything she was but I wasn’t. Instead, I should’ve painted a picture unique to my vision for the role. And even if he didn’t go for it, at least it was my own.
3. Don’t be an understudy. That role is taken.
It’s natural that when you see someone do something great, you want to mimic them. Try your hardest to resist that urge. This can be really tough when you’re still developing your identity in your career because you don’t have your own experiences yet. Lots of things are still new. So, it’s much easier to mimic someone else. Instead, try to find out what lies beneath their performance. You can even ask them about it. Then, incorporate it into your own approach.
At the close of each year, I do some self-reflection. One year, I made a list of skills I wanted to improve on and then wrote a person’s name who I thought was really good at that skill next to each. I remember sitting down with my partner and proudly sharing this list with him.
• I want to develop leadership skills like Person A.
• I want to have presentation skills like Person B.
• I want stronger business acumen like Person C.
And so on.
He looked at me squarely and said I would fail. By trying to do something like someone else, I’d fail at developing each skill in a way I could succeed.
Mimicking will only fan the flames of imposter syndrome. Use the knowledge of those that went before you, but find your own path.
4. Quit trying to prove yourself as a woman.
Don’t project inferiority, because of gender or otherwise, when it’s simply not there. If you’re constantly focusing on proving yourself, you’re assuming there’s something to prove instead of assuming you’re completely capable.
This comes from some advice a speaker gave to a group of female colleagues at my first agency. Years later, she would become my mentor.
She said, “Don’t try to be the best woman in business. Just be the best person in business you can be.” Don’t push yourself into traditionally male-dominated networking activities if it’s not what you’d naturally do. Find your own way to grow client relationships. If you force yourself in those situations, you’ll feel so weird, you won’t be able to bond anyway. You’ll be focused on the wrong thing.
5. Stop trying to be the smartest person in the room.
I like to tell my daughter: “Share the air.” Many times, the best leaders don’t have all the answers; they just know how to ask the right questions. They know how to pull the right talent together to achieve the best work product. Quit trying to be the author of it all. When you try to be the smartest at everything, you discount what you’re really good at.
Starting out, I felt like I needed to speak up often in meetings, simply to be heard — as if the amount of air time I held in a meeting would add up to some arbitrary points system. Later, when my partner and I started our own agency, this complex flared up again. I was often the youngest person in the room and sometimes the only female. And as leadership, I felt the need to remind everyone of my worth, value and intelligence in every meeting. That effort serves no master.
I still work on these things daily. That 20-something fire lives on, but hopefully balanced by knowledge and experience I’ve gathered for her since.
Forbes Agency Council is an invitation-only community for executives in successful public relations, media strategy, creative and advertising agencies. Do I qualify?
Go to Source
Author: Blair Brady, Forbes Councils Member
